my next target

hehe~ that day after class

i take a good move that is cheat lecturer say that i got meeting with my sister!!

go take PIC and ROM

so about 10 minits i reach one utama

which near my memory there

some bad thing happened that is denise cant come

haiz

i date her too late already

but anywhere it was my bad

cause i too late tell her

so 1130 sharp i buy my ticket which 1120 started!

omg so urgency lor..

i cant stand already must rush to toilet before i went into cinema

finally i sent all my water out from mine body

but i take my lunch in cinema

actually is the same even i having my lunch at outside is the same

cause i taking alone so no need care about the venue

no need care about the time..

weeeeee 单身万岁，孤单万岁

ops paiseh i havent tell wan movie i catching

i watch sanctum alone at 1U there

hehe~ my next target will be black swam!

最近怎样了

这段是你经常和你不长联络朋友的第一句话吗？
对我而言是，
我最近就常发呆
玩失踪
玩电脑
玩纳闷
玩孤单
即使这样也是不会有人理会的
今天看了一个女生的博客
发觉她和我的遭遇很相像
但是自己一个人独来独往
每个人都觉得我很想很开心
可是我不开心又有谁知道呢
没人会懂吧
别人有小石头来形容自己
那么我只能有可怜虫或者是毛毛虫来形容自己
因为我时常外表有刺可是内在软软的
可能这是保护自己的一种方法吧

刚跑完步整身臭臭的
就开始打这博客
不管这样今天是开心的。。

giving up

i have been try so hard to change all those conflict
but seem like i was failed to do so
i think this is it
i should give up
no matter what there have no return way for me
i have to keep going on
no matter how hardship it is i must continues my lifestyle
cant be emotion anywhere!
be strong.
i know that this blog anyone will see it
but this is my style i trying to record all my sadness at here
to relief myself
cause i cant chat or tell anyone
cause there i doesn't have someone that i trust to talk to
i thought after CNY thing will be better
seem like it just only a dream which make by myself
no one know me
no one understand me
no one willing be my friend
is that my problem?
i doubt that did i done wrong anything?
haiz
my lifestyle so suck!
damnit
more suffer when i was at seremban
i wish and willing live alone
sleep alone
just alone
there have nothing change it just my environmental changed only
its still the same
being isolated
js left me alone
cause i have to been cold blood again!
no matter what i wan to be myself again!
i some good experience for me to let me grow up
so i must be thankful
thanks those who let me know what is reality
thanks those who let me grow up so that i could let me liberation
thanks those who let me have a chance to been what i am to be who i am!!!
there have a single word to express my current feeling is SAD

~矛盾~

我相信每个人都有矛盾的心情

当你在外你会想家，但回到家时又想往外去

这些就是我这四年来的矛盾

当我在外时真的真的很想有人可以照顾我

想回到家什么都不用做

想回到家不用想晚餐要吃什么

想回到家。。

可是当我回到家，

觉得我很空虚，
很寂寞，孤单

觉得我不像我了，

在开心的气氛下还要露出笑容来掩盖自己的心情

矛盾心里想真的不想顶撞父母

我不想和他们吵因觉得他们年纪大了

应该让他们

他们叫我去东我不会去西
觉得应该尊重他们

可是他们有不懂得时刻何止

我是一个喜欢在外漂泊的的人

可是没人懂我只想什么

连我自己也不懂

不开心有谁知？烦恼有谁懂？矛盾有谁能帮你解？

现在0241am 2/9/2011

我突然想她了，我已经很努力忘记了，

可是并非要忘就忘的。。

虽然她是

爱忽冷忽热的，

爱逃避的，

爱钻牛角尖，

健忘的，

但是她做事我觉得有计划，

很会照顾自己，

傻傻的。

我想。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。